I am exactly one year into my relationship with the OH. It's everything my other relationships were not, I wake up most mornings with a smile on my face and I fall asleep most evenings with a smile. We have barely bickered let alone argued... we may well have one of those relationships that other people whisper about..."It can't possibly be that good behind closed doors", but there is a storm cloud brewing on our horizon, something that I've kept quiet about for too long -
There is another woman...and I'm so bloody jealous of her. She lives in our bedroom and her smug perfection is there every time I walk in the room. She never says anything, she lets her perfect hair and perfect legs do all the talking...look at her...
And then Jane over at Flight Platform Living dared me to "Pin up Regardless". Now I have been going to the gym more often recently but I'll be honest - the season of healthy salads has been overtaken by the season of Pimms, Cider and spritzers...I feel saggy and wobbly and my arms were last toned when I was 10 and into gymnastics.
This would take some psyching up...I reached for the trusted red stilettos that have seen me through interviews, dates and countless "bleugh days" to channel my inner goddess
and called the OH in to act as photographer.
It went a little like this...
"What do you want? I'm watching Masterchef..."
"I need to you drape the sheet over me and take photos for my blog"
"What?? Like a dead person??"
"No! Like that perfect witch in your picture"
Lots of pictures were taken, interspersed with comments like,
"Bend your arm back more...even more...now arch your back"
"Try and look relaxed"
"Why are you doing this again?!!"
"Is your boob supposed to be out?!!"
Until finally, after two rounds of cramp and bouts of deleting, I admitted defeat.
"She's so bloody perfect - I just look shit compared to her" I moaned. The OH looked at me like I was and idiot and said in the way only he could,
"Baby that's a fake body in a painting, your body is real and I love it"
I may not have freakish double jointed elbows, a golden tan, boobs perkier than Madonna's cone bra and a 24 inch waist...but in a quiet little corner of Hampshire, for one night only...
I was a pin-up REGARDLESS!!!
Show your love to Jane and her link up here