Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Tired of being tired...

Well we did it, we moved onto our house and it's already starting to feel like ours but I'm so pooped, tired, exhausted, spent...and lots of other sleepy adjectives my brain is too whacked to think of.

I'm thinking that I probably should have taken a week off, not to decorate or put furniture together, that was done by the Monday evening; but to just recharge and re-group. For the last 6 weeks every lunch hour, evening and free weekend has been taken up with arranging, ordering, packing, clearing and cleaning our lives into boxes...only to carry on arranging, putting together, unpacking, clearing, and cleaning once we moved.

At the weekend we invited friends over to watch the England v Wales six Nations rugby game. Everyone was due to arrive at 2 o-clock for a 3pm kick off. I had spent most of Saturday cleaning our old flat, so Sunday was my only day of "rest" before going back to work on Monday.

At 7.30am I was frying off mince and chopping veggies to start off a slow cooker full of chilli

At 8.30am I was drinking a cold cup of tea, cleaning the kitchen and writing a shopping list

At 9.30am I was unpacking the last 2 boxes of clothes, squashing down the cardboard and trying to tame my damp hair into some sort of style before it dried completely.

At 10.30am I was one of the first people at the garden centre, buying spirea shrubs, herbs, strawberry plants, compost and pots; before being attacked by a stressed parrot who didn't want to be part of the demonstration I had walked past...this is why I hate flappy birds.

At 11.30am I started digging the bed that the shrubs were going into.

At 12.30pm Sion came home from work, I was laying two stepping stones before potting up herbs and strawberries. Sion made us both a cup of tea, then he went to have a shower.

At 1.30pm I finished sweeping the patio, watered the plants and texted Sion to pick up some dips as well as beer.

At 1.45pm I finally got in the shower.

At 2.30pm I was making nachos for everyone to snack on.

At 2.45pm I was cleaning nachos, cheese and salsa off the carpet where it had landed after I tripped up the step, carrying the dish.

At 2.55pm I was making the next batch of nachos

Then followed the rugby game, trips to the fridge, trips to the pot of chilli and trips to the sink to wash up bowls. Everyone had left by 6.30pm

At 7pm Sion asked, "What's wrong? You've been really quiet the last few days"
At 7.01pm I burst in to hot, snotty sobs, mixed in every so often with mumbles of "I'm tired" and most telling, a whispered "I want to be able to call the spare room a nursery"
At 7.15pm it was mostly snuffles with the occasional sob.

At 7.30pm I was having a nice bath being run...

I need to make sure that I don't get so caught up in creating a perfect house that I forget to make an enjoyable, relaxing home. Over the next few weeks things will slow down, all the jobs will be done, the evenings will be lighter and we can just enjoy. I know it's natural to want to entertain and to enjoy people's company after a year of being in a tiny flat, but this year has been hard going so far. I don't have anything left in the tank, I don't have anything left to give. We need to take some time to strengthen and rebuild each other, before we hopefully, make a start on being able to call the spare room a nursery out loud.

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