Wednesday, 23 April 2014

In memory...

Today is the five year anniversary of my Dad passing away...five years sounds a long time, but emotionally it's only a heartbeat. There's a part of me that chokes when I realise that I'll never hear his voice again, never reach over his shoulder to hug him when he's sat in his chair, never introduce him to my partner or children. If I allow myself to acknowledge the sheer bloody unfairness of him not being here I'm afraid I'll slip back down the slippery slope of isolation and depression.

My dad was always interested in what we had been getting up to. I need to remind myself that as difficult and as sad life is without him, life naturally continues. I've made a lot of choices with his advice and enthusiasm for new experiences encouraging me. Today more than ever I need to remember these highlights;

I became an auntie to beautiful, funny and inspiring children.

I went to Peru with my uncle and walked to Machu Picchu, raising £5000 for The Prostate Cancer Charity.

I travelled to Chile to watch my brother get married in a fairy tale castle to his beautiful wife.

I handed in my notice without a job to go to in the middle of the recession because I knew I needed to change my work/life balance...I ended up leaving on Friday and starting my new job on the following Monday

I brought a completely impractical but absolutely beautiful roaring sports car, then traded it in for an equally uneconomical four wheel drive. He would have been impressed with both my choices!

I went to a BBQ the night before my new job instead of staying in sensibly but met the man who I hope to be with for the rest of my life.


I returned to Cuba for the holiday of a lifetime...and blew the remaining savings on another holiday when we got home.

I experienced the joy of falling pregnant and sadly the awfulness of miscarriage.

I moved into the house that we will hopefully raise our children in.

Dad, my life continues on, I wish you were here to enjoy it too but know that the person I am today is the person you helped mould me into. I still dream of you and feel you near me, just out of reach. I'm so proud to have had you as my father.



  1. Awwww such a lovely post hunnie... x #PoCoLo

  2. Your story is so colorful. I am sure that your Dad is so proud of you for living your lif rto the fullest. #pocolo

  3. A beautiful tribute to your Dad and I bet he is looking down on you proud as can be. In tears xx Thank you for linking to PoCoLo lovely xx